Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
