The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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