brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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