if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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