I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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