Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
