mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
