After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
