I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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