This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
