he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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