Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
