its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
