Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
