It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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