Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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