Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
