Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize