All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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