I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
