He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
