I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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