even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
