You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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