its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
