hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I CAN MOONWALK!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
