Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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