So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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