What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
