I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so explain again why im purple
no
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
