I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize