North Korea, Best Korea!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
