I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
