so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
