I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize