I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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