people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
