if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
