Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
