So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
