sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
