just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
