He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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