Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
