You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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