We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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