think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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