i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just invented taco cereal.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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