Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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