I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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