I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
