dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
