you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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