So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Enjoy the penises
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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