Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
