I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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