i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
