i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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