You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
