Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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