If that was your dad, he is hot
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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