im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
