I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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