I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
