Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
