If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
