You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Found your dick twin last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
