On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
