I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Drake has all the answers
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
