My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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