there was a trapeze. enough said
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
