Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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