bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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