You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
