you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize