So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
