508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize