somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
