my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
