this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
