sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
