you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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